When I discovered the Teaching, as formulated by Gurdjieff, I was already working to organize a great deal of data in regard to the bodymind that I had practically verified in my massage practice. Immediately I was in awe of the quality and quantity of information that G had accumulated, and its organization was such that my need to organize my data became a moot point. This began my trek into the world of G. My primary awe has always been with the Teaching, not with teachers or personalities, including that of G himself, and thus my study has always been of the Teaching and not of personalities. This is, of course, not all my doing but is due (in part at least) to the fact that I did not have the awesome personalities, in the persons of G’s actual students, available to me.

G often went to great pains to point toward the necessity of exact speech for communion between those who seek, and this includes a need to redefine many commonly (mis)understood terms. I will be using several of them here; to begin to consider my points, you must make the effort to redefine these terms yourself. I do not write casually, for these matters are of great importance to me, and I have been pondering how to breach the subjects I intend to touch on in a way approachable to the readers of Stopinder. I know I shall only partially succeed; however, I enjoy making the effort.

First of all, it is significant that G tells us that The Way begins after the top of the staircase; that is, there is a fundamental difference between ‘work’ and ‘preparatory work.’ It is disturbing to me that so much of what I read in supposed work writings indicates that this clearly defined ‘preparatory work’ is the end of the process, instead of a prerequisite. In the scenario of ‘normal’ man, one would develop this through natural processes before the ‘midlife crisis’ and thus have half of one’s existence for traveling along The Way. For myself, I have already passed this halfway point and cannot afford to waste any time.

In my experience, both personally and with students, it is possible to clearly define the stages, or scales, of preparatory work, which are marked by increasing levels of responsibility. Using the hackney carriage parable, we see the scale of ordinary man, or multiplicity, in the scenario of the driver in the bar, below street level, drunk on imagination, while his carriage and horse stand neglected on the street. Magnetic center (MC) appears when the man comes out of the bar, to street level, and begins to care for the horse and carriage. Deputy steward (DS) is attained by the driver, after having adequately repaired the carriage and gained the trust of the horse, getting on the box. Steward is the permanent passenger in the carriage. At this point, the carriage can go somewhere specific; that is, a person can remember his aim. After aims have been consistently remembered and attained, the Master of the carriage makes his appearance.

Each of these changes in scale manifests in a verifiable way. The man in the bar ‘thinks’ about work but does not do it. MC takes practical measures to restore function to the carriage and to develop relations with the horse and demonstrates an ongoing commitment and responsibility toward these duties. DS can self-remember (SR) in certain definite conditions because of MC; that is, he can give attention to the functionings of instinctive, moving, and emotional centers simultaneously when making efforts and not being distracted. Thus DS has a responsibility to develop and maintain these ‘conditions,’ which allow for SR. Steward can SR when he needs to, regardless of external conditions, and has the responsibility to always have sufficient energies available for this process (energies necessary for SR, and for work in general, are a separate topic). Part of how Steward does this is by beginning to develop the driver, or intellectual function. It is worth noting that it is not until one attains to Steward, and thus enters into ‘responsible existence,’ that development of the intellect is necessary or useful. In fact, in my experience, prior work on intellect actually has a detrimental effect on preparatory work. So we can see that Steward is a ‘gift,’ that is, part of our humanness, and not the result of our personal merit. This is important to me, and I value this gift highly, which can be verified by my manifestations.

It could be said that the Work, in its true form, does not begin until one becomes ‘normal’ (not average, but actually normal). This means one must make up for shortages in the past in preparation for responsible existence; one must become a householder, who by definition discharges his ordinary life responsibilities successfully and without resentment. Having this practical attitude toward life, one is then freed in attention to begin to learn from ordinary life. Indeed, this is what preparatory work is for, to get one into a state of normalcy where he can learn from life, or directly from God through His manifestations.

This brings us to teaching and ‘the method.’ G says his method is subjective, meaning that it is a custom fit for each individual, requiring individual attention from one’s teacher. As many have noted, fragments of preparatory work are possible outside the Teaching itself through accidental life happenings. It is also possible, if not helpful, to learn certain practical truths through ‘pseudo’ schools, within or without the general phenomena of the work as we know it (dissemination of the G ideas). For myself, many influences led me to the Teaching, and my practical efforts to verify these, or sort the wheat from the chaff, gave me a valuation of the Teaching that is perhaps uncommon. For those who have, so to speak, run into the G ideas prematurely (before getting frustrated with the myriad charlatans), there is a tendency to take them in an ordinary way. So I am personally grateful for all the pseudoteachers for giving me the valuation of the Work Teaching that is central to my work.

The staircase itself, and thus the teacher used to assist one in climbing it, must therefore be a temporary or transitional time for the seeker. The time this transition takes is again subjective, but it is significant to note its temporary nature. This will save one from putting the teacher on a pedestal, so to speak, and losing one’s center of gravity. A good teacher will always encourage leaving the nest when it is time, so that the student may in turn pass along what he has learned—and make mistakes, without which one cannot really learn. Passing along preparatory work will always be ‘self-sealing,’ because one will attract students of one’s own type and be confronted with anything lacking in one’s own work.

For me it has been useful to see my Teacher as a manifestation of a Sacred Individual ‘sent from above.’ G says that God is merely a replacement for our parents after they have died (and an inadequate one at that). So my primary teachers are my parents. My Teacher has manifested in many forms, for instance, in my dogs, in plants and other natural phenomena, in the actions of strangers, in friends, and in other forms, including the ‘merciless Heropass.’ Even my cab computer taught me that the Universe will always give me what I need. I have also had many people, who actually call themselves teachers, instruct me and have a reverence for each of them as humans who have actually worked to develop their potential.

The teacher I had for preparatory work once gave me an exercise to ‘connect my MC moments’ by drawing a timeline of events that directed me toward self-perfecting. This was in itself very helpful in regard to not being identified with my teacher, as well as verifying that life itself has been teaching me all along, although I have not always been open to learning. So while I may teach preparatory work, I am first and foremost a student of the Teaching, and the teaching I do helps me in this aim.

As one on The Way, I must manifest responsibly in life. My profession, my marriage, my volunteer work, my social interactions (including attendance at church), and my casual acquaintances are all places that I manifest, and it is here that I must walk the walk. The newest form of manifestation is as a father to a six-month-old baby, who herself is a supreme manifestation of my Teacher. Will I be able to properly prepare her for responsible existence? Am I really prepared to be ‘God’ for her? Can I SR sufficiently to avoid mechanically passing down the myriad forms of abnormal human behavior and values that have been passed to me from many generations? Certainly I will do a better job because of my efforts and because I have begun responsible existence. There is no reason to be sentimental.

Now I can see the emperor’s new clothes. My teachers have all been, and continue to be, mirrors, more or less cloudy, and have directed me back toward myself. And when I hold the mirror inside, Creation comes into view.

KSR 10/13/01