Blending

from Gurdjieff's "Life is real only then, when 'I am,' " p. 140

Well then, I am now sitting among you, as you see, and although I am looking at Mr. L yet I am intentionally directing all my attention, which you are not able to see, on my foot, and consequently any manifestation Mr. L produces within my field of vision I see only automatically--my attention, which at the present moment is one whole, being in another place.

This whole attention of mine, I now intentionally divide into two equal parts.

The first half I consciously direct to the uninterrupted constatation and continuous sensing of the process proceeding in me of my breathing.

By means of this part of my attention I definitely feel that something takes place in me with the air I breathe.

I first clearly feel that, when I breathe in the air, the greater part, passing through my lungs, goes out again, and the lesser part remains and as it were settles there, and then I feel that this settled part is gradually penetrating inward and is as it were spreading through my whole organism.

In consequence of the fact that only a part of my attention is occupied with the observation of the process of breathing proceeding in me, all the mental, feeling and reflex associations automatically flowing in my common presence still continue to be noticed by the free part of my attention, and hinder that first part of my attention intentionally directed upon a definite object, but already to a much lesser extent.

Now I direct the second half of my attention to my head brain for the purpose of observing and possibly constating any process proceeding in it.

And already I am beginning to feel in it, from the totality of automatically flowing associations, the arising of something very fine, almost imperceptible to me.

I do not know just what this is nor do I wish to know, but I definitely constate, feel and sense that this is some definite "something" arising from the process automatically proceeding in my head brain of associations of previously consciously perceived impressions.

While this second half of my attention is occupied with the aforesaid, the first half continues all the time uninterruptedly to watch, with so to say "concentrated interest," the result proceeding from the process of my breathing.

I now consciously direct this second half of my attention and, uninterruptedly "remembering the whole of myself," I aid this something arising in my head brain to flow directly into my solar plexus. I feel how it flows. I no longer notice any automatic associations proceeding in me.